I know I am a mommy, but today I was really reflective of my mom today. She had circumstances against her when I was younger. She was a single mom who worked full time (with no help...financial, physical or emotional...from my biological father) and lived with my grandparents (who were sweet and loving, but undermined her authority as a mom, and made it very difficult for her to consistently parent me). The odds were against her; she was even advised by many to have an abortion. She stuck it out and here I am.
Often, we praise our mom's for what they have done, but today, I thanked my mom for what she didn't do. As I was getting spoiled by my grandma and imagined a fantasy "prince-dad" that would come and sweep me off my feet and make our family life perfect, I often lashed out at my mom. I would tell her how awful she was because she wouldn't buy me what my grandma would or say, "My dad wouldn't make me clean up...I want to go live with him...not you!" In a nut-shell, I was a selfish, spoiled child who wanted my own way and would be as unkind to my mom as possible to try and achieve my agenda. In all this, my mom was NEVER unkind. She never told me that my dad wanted nothing to do with me (which is the harsh truth). She never told me how she loved me enough to try and train me and not raise a spoiled child (she also never told me how my grandma would get me anything I wanted just to keep me quiet...because my grandfather was always so frustrated when I was loud/crying).
She could have said them; they were true. Instead she protected my heart at the constant expense of her own. My mom cried a lot of tear because of my harsh words, but spared me the pain that would have cut deep if she had told me at such a young and impressionable age. She showed me a lot of grace and mercy as a child and endured a lot on my behalf. For that, I really appreciate my mom. I LOVE YOU MOM...Thank you for having me, even if it was a lot of work (I hope it was worth it).
***Side note: Mom, Abigail and I had a fun afternoon. My dad watched Isaac while we went to the mall, got mini-makeovers at Bare Minerals, then when to Cheesecake factory. It was a great day.
2 comments:
I love this post. I am so happy for both of you that you have the relationship you do, and am so thankful that they moved up there to be near you and your family. xoxo. Hope you had a great day.
Amber, your post brought tears to my eyes. So many of us take our mom's for granted because we had a normal childhood. You really brought to attention all the wonderful things that my mom did do and the sacrificies that she did for me through out all of my years. Thanks.
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