So I, Amber, have been in and out of a rut for a few months. I have been looking for reasons. Sure, some may be hormones (trying to balance out my PCOS and newly starting estrogen), some might be the extra rain, some might be busyness, tiredness, stress over Chris' job...
All I can say is that no matter what the reason/cause (legitimate excuse or not), my view of life, the Lord and myself have remained unchanged. I can look at despair in the face and say, "I know that God is bigger!" In the midst of trials, my confidence rests in my God who is unchanging. Because if Him, I can claim joy in a trail (even if it feels painful and unhappy). I can come to Him with tears, worry, confusion, exasperation, hopeless feelings, doubts, anxiousness and weakness and He meets me where I am at. He is the one who can bring me out of the pit; I don't have to try and climb out in order to meet Him. Even when I am not feeling it, I trust all that He has promised in His word because God does not lie. He promises a future and a hope, sanctification, to work all things out for good, joy, strength, forgiveness, love, and the ability to overcome any temptation (because I am a believer in Christ and have the Holy Spirit at work in me). Even when I pray and it feels like it's in vain...it's not. When I read the Bible and it feels like it is not doing anything...it does. His Word will not return void. He directs my prayers when I don't even know what to pray. It is comforting.
God is so faithful, He even sends friends to the door, unexpectedly, to come sit and chat at just the right time. When the burden seems to tough to carry, He eases it somehow. He has promised that He will not give us beyond what we can handle.
All this to say, I am amazed that anyone can live this life, with all its pressures & pains without the strength of the Lord. It also amazes me that when all the blessings are given in this life (health, family friends, children, nature, a beautiful sunny day), most people have no one to thank or praise. I know they are "thankful," but to whom? Even if one were to make it their whole life on their own merit, building themselves up, accomplishing all worldly goals, desires and even making a "mark on history" by setting a record, inventing something, or raising kids that do...what does it all add up to in the end?
I know is that I am weak, sinful, selfish, controlling, short-sighted, indulging and prideful (among other things). And God, by no merit of my own, has shown me grace and turns all my faults into strengths when I rely on Him. He brings me joy, hope, peace and a firm foundation (one that does not depart when the waves come crashing down). If you do not know Him, I pray that one day you will. If you ever are in a rut that you cannot get out of, call me. If you achieve all the goals you set out to accomplish in this life and still find out that there is a huge void in your heart, I can tell you who can fill it. Christ is the way, truth and the life, no one comes to the Father but through Him. He loves so much that He sent His Son to the cross on our behalf. There are many different theories of who Jesus. I know I had some that were not at all true. I never read the Book, I just made up what I figured to be true. His Word is true and clear. He is who He says He is. All that He promises is true. Just read it (if you are not sure where to start, try the book of John).
"One thing I do know. I was blind but now I see!" John 2:25
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