Who is on my throne???

Between the Tuesday ladies' Bible study on the old testament prophets, our Wednesday night Bible study going though the old testament, conversations with our son about things he idolizes and cherishes a bit too much, and our Sunday school class on idols, I have really been pausing to reflect on what I really worship. Do I have God in his rightful throne in my heart? My immediate answer to that would be, "Of course!" After reading scripture and praying about it, I would have to approach that question with a bit less confidence.

We are all made to worship; we are all worshippers...of something or someone.

God reminds His people, over and over, not to trust in idols. He uses the prophets to share the message, He lovingly allows them to be conquered when they are relying on things besides Him, He demonstrates His power and victory over false Gods, and He reminds them, "I am the LORD, that is My name; I will not give My glory to another, nor My praise to graven images." (Isaiah 42:8). His very first instructions written for us were to "have no other gods" before Him (Deuteronomy 5:7). He deserves the glory; He is God.

If course I know this, and of course I have "no other gods." I don't believe any books that are not the Bible, I don't have any carved idols of silver, gold, wood or even stone that I rely on, and I don't trust in any false prophets, religions, or set of belief systems or rituals. But who do I worship really? Who or what is my mind consumed with most of the day? How do I spend my time? When trouble strikes, were do I turn first? When something great happens, do I praise Him first? If I were to stop and write down the answers to all these questions on any given day, what would the facts reveal I truly worshipped with my actions and heart?

Everyone struggles with allowing things of this world to replace God. In America, it is easy to treasure health, wealth, comfort, entertainment, and success more than the One who provides all those things. It is easy to lose sight of the gift giver amidst all the gifts. This past Sunday, the issue of greed what addressed as a common idol. I was sure that I don't struggle with loving money. Matthew 6:24 says, "No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other You cannot serve God and wealth." I would never characterize myself as a servant of wealth, but am I? I love to give, I see tithing as a starting point, and I am even ready to live without all of our material things are taken and God calls our family away on foreign missions. All that said, do I trust God more when we have savings in the bank, when my husband is employed, when we have decent medical insurance, and when we can easily shock the pantry. Do I find myself focusing on Him when we do not have those things? Do I pray or do I plan? Is my foundation the rock of my salvation or what He has given me?

Another thing that God is making evident to me is how easy it is to put myself on the throne. I am most comfortable with a list, and plan A, plan B and plan C. I love to be able to "get the job done!" I love serving, helping and getting things checked off my list at the end of the day. Those things are fine in and of themselves, but they can easily become my god. Is my heart calm when my "plan" does not turn out as I expected? Am I as joyful when there is no list? Am I thankful when I cannot accomplish a task as I expected? Am I quick to pat myself on the back when it all goes well or am I focused on bringing glory to the One who graciously allows me to accomplish anything at all? Who do I rely on to get the big or little jobs done? Myself or God? Do I spend more time planning or do I spend more time praying? It is easy to rely on the strengths, skills, talents and abilities God has graciously given rather than relying on Him who gave us all. My desire is to say (with my words, heart and life) what David said in Psalm 20:7 "Some boast in chariots and some in horses, But we will boast in the name of the LORD, our God."

In the Tuesday ladies' Bible study, I was challenged to examine myself once again on where I really put my trust. As we studied and discussed God's message through the work and words of Elisha, I was reminded that God disciplines those He loves, and wants to protect them from trusting in false things that will fail like the shifting sand. It was also striking that the miracles God did to demonstrate His power and true authority, like cleansing water with salt, don't seem to make sense. In fact, the more unlikely the solution to the problem, the more it points to God as the power, not the act itself. God can do whatever He wants however He wants. He asks that we trust Him and obey his direction, even when it doesn't make sense. Do I trust Him when things don't "pencil out" on paper? Do I follow His lead when the ways seems foolish by the world's standards? Do I do what is, in fact, contrary to what the world would advise if God asks it of me? Am I willing, for example, to give more time and money in "hard" economic times? Am I willing to love those who don't love me, repay good to for evil, love my neighbor as myself, share the gospel with someone I just met at the market or continue to outreach to a loved one who has openly rejected the truth and just wants to be non-controversial?

Studying the old testament, I am also reminded that God wants me to love Him more than any other. I know he wants me to be faithful to Him. Exodus 34:14 tells me that I shall "not worship any other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God." Just as my husband would rightly be jealous if I was turning to another man for provision, support, or affection, so is my God. If I leaned on another with I was sad or rejoiced with another in times of praise, my husband would see my unfaithfulness. If I confided in another above him or even tried to distance myself from him and live life on my own, he would call me out, confront me on my sin and do whatever he needed in order to restore a right relationship between us. He would do it because he was jealous; he would do it because he loves me. Our God does the same, and for that I praise Him.

I am reminded of how easily things can become an idol for the little ones too. My son, nearly four, is learning about how anything that we love more than God is an idol. Even generally good things can most easily become the idols in our life that we put on the throne. If he continue playings with his train when we've asked share it with a friend, he has made it an idol. If he continues doing whatever he is doing when we've asked him to stop, he's made it an idol. If he argues when we instruct him, he is putting himself on the throne. As I am quick to point an obvious finger at him, I ask myself what God tells me to give up that I strive to cling to? Is there anything He is asking me to do that I pretend not to hear? If there anything He obviously wants me to stop doing that I won't because I enjoy it too much? Is there anything I am arguing with God about, trying to convince Him that my way is better than His? Do I really trust "that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose?" At the same time, and I freely allowing Him conform me "to the image of His Son" even it takes a trial (or many trials)? Romans 8 and James 1.

When we were driving in the van yesterday, my son said, "Mom, I love you and Daddy, but I don't worship you." He also tells us regularly, "I love trains, but I love God more." From the mouth of this little man, I am both encouraged and convicted. My prayer is that I can say to the Lord Jesus (in both word and deed, with my mouth and the actions that characterize my life), "Lord, I love _________________ that you have graciously given to me, but I don't worship it. I love ______________, but I love you more!"

All that said, it may even be tempting to put my foot down and say to the Lord, "Okay God, I am done worshipping idols, I commit to You that I will put you back on the throne in my life, and I am going to live to show You that...I will read my Bible even more, pray more, give more, love more, serve more, be a better spouse, parent, neighbor, friend, trust more..." All these sound great, but they too can become and idol and my heart when the focus is ME doing it...the cycle continues until I stop and allow Him to do the work through me. God is faithful and He never leaves me. He hears my prayers and answers when I asks to be more like Him and be used by Him. 1 Peter 4:11 "Whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen."